I’m sitting here watching Man on Fire on Spike. It’s one of my favorite movies, where Denzel Washington goes on a rampage for revenge. It makes me wonder what that feeling is, to achieve revenge on someone who has wronged you in some way. At times, I wish I could get revenge for the years I had to endure some indescribable things that challenged my sanity and emotional limits. My story isn’t the saddest, nor is it the craziest, but it definitely is something that most people probably do not experience in their lives. Or maybe they do, and no one wants to talk about it. I don’t know.
At the time of this post, I am currently 35. Single and it fucking sucks. I hate dating, but I hate being single more. After many weekends of drunken jackass-ery and hijinks, I’ve decided to also document them. Hopefully its somewhat entertaining, I found it to be when I could remember.
I’m divorced, I have 2 wonderful children. I love them to death. But they certainly don’t help with my dating life. I don’t blame you women, baggage is tough to deal with and I think I have exceeded the maximum allowed carry-ons for sure. I’m a realist, if I were you, I would prob hesitate to date me too. Such is life.
I consider myself a real life “Tur-duck-en”. Which if you don’t know what that is, its a duck stuffed into a chicken stuffed into a turkey. The reason I say this? I feel like I’m a white guy stuffed inside a Korean guy stuffed in a Taiwanese guy’s body. I’m probably above average in terms of looks, depending on who you ask. I appeal to Korean woman the most apparently, secondly other asians. White people don’t seem to have too much interest in me, probably because we all do look the same. Deny it all you want, I couldn’t pick myself out of a lineup of asian dudes.
Anyway, this blog will describe different chapters of my life in hopes you can either:
1. Get a laugh at my pain – go for it, I don’t care and it won’t hurt my feelings.
2. Share your experiences with me – maybe we went through similar things?
3. Reaffirm how much better your life is compared to mine – I mean, everyone needs some positive reinforcement somehow I guess.
4. Understand that people are always fighting something, some are just better at enduring or dealing than others.
5. Learn from my mistakes – I’ve had very bad luck in terms of meeting/picking partners apparently. This was not written to make it seem that all women are crazy. That’s definitely not true, my life just seems to cross paths with many strange and unique people.
I’ll try to keep it interesting. Everything I’ve written is completely true. I have lived these experiences. I’m not a writer, so please bear with me as I wrote this as I would tell it conversationally. I’ve embedded songs that relate to each post, it does require Spotify to work though.
Message me on twitter with comments, feedback or your stories.
@mylifeisakdrama
Thanks.
mylifeisakoreandrama 
Dear Tur-duck-en,
Bro, I feel you. My best bud told me to read your blog because it reminded him of my previous relationship, but on a less dramatic and baggage level than yours, no offense intended. I’m of Taiwanese descent too, American born. I didn’t date in high school and lost my virginity in college when I was 20. I kept thinking that the life you have led could very easily have been mine if I had met a girl like your ex-wife when I was young and naive. Luckily for me I met my Korean ex, I will call her “SC,” when I was 30 with a bit more life experience under my belt. She was 22 or 23 at the time, a college grad, and worked for me. We started out as coworkers, became friends, and then that’s when she started confiding in me about her “abusive boyfriend” whom she lived with in the apartment complex next door to mine. One fateful day, after her and her then boyfriend had a terrible fight, who did she run to? Yours truly. Being the nice guy (and boss at the time) I am, I took herin and told her she could stay with me until she got back on her feet. Eventually, one thing led to another and we began to date. I want to say that after the honeymoon phase ended was when she started to get dramatic, but now that I reflect back upon the beginning, there was always drama surrounding her but I didn’t see it at the time. She is definitely not as insanely crazy and extreme as your ex, but there are a lot of similarities. She was abused when she was a child and used that as an excuse for her behavior. She threatened to commit suicide multiple times. She was extremely insecure. She threw me a whole bunch of trap questions about girls and I could never answer correctly. I know now there was never a correct answer. Hell, she would find any excuse to accuse me and yell at me for looking at another woman. I would be at the bank making a deposit with a female teller that usually handles my account, then SC would start going off on me in the parking lot about me flirting with the girl because I asked her how her day was going. One time we were shopping at Costco and I was looking at laundry detergent when a lady walks past me with her shopping cart and I look down to make sure she doesn’t run over my feet and SC starts accusing me of checking the lady out… some middle-aged mom with a middle-aged body. As if!! And another time we were at the Block in Orange walking side by side and I’m looking her way to talk to her and she suddenly flips out because she caught me “staring” at some girls dressed in roller derby gear that passed by behind her. How am I not supposed to look if they cross my field of vision?? It got to the point that I couldn’t go out anywhere with her anymore for fear of being yelled at. She even began to go through my phone and facebook, deleting all my contacts that were female. She would never leave me alone in our apartment. My only place of safety was the bathroom but she would flip out on me if I locked the door on her and accuse me of texting other women. Thank God we didn’t have kids together (no offense intended), and thank God we broke it off. I was seriously stuck for a good three years with her because she was estranged from her family and had no place to go. We were literally together 24/7. Lived together, worked together…I could not escape the drama. And like you say about LK, SC was a good person deep down, and she would treat me very well at times. She was a great cook, she cleaned, she got me some really nice gifts… All the good things about her were that much more good because all the bad was so extreme, and that kept me hopeful that the relationship would get better. But it never did and one day, after her first therapy session, we got in a huge fight in the car and broke up. She moved out all her things that afternoon.
So, bro, I feel you. I understand the insanity of dating a Korean woman. I can’t relate to having kids with one, and it fucking sucks to read about how she uses the kids against you, but you have my mad respect for doing what you can to be there for them. It sounds like you are doing the best you can with a shit situation. They will understand one day, and they will appreciate that you made a tremendous sacrifice in an attempt to improve their life. Keep up the blog. Share your story. People need to know. Props bro, hang in there.
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Thanks for sharing your story E. I think we are on the same wavelength about the jealousy and accusations. I do have to say my next few chapters are just as crazy but in it’s own way along these lines. After my ex wife I ended up dating a TWese flight attendant. That would turn out to be pretty difficult too, lol.
Appreciate you reading my blog and posting your story!
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Hi @mylifeiskdrama or Mr. Tur-duck-en (or I’m not sure what you preferred to be called as Mr. Kdrama?),
I was wondering if you’re are interested in collab with me on my youtube channels? I live in OC. I can blur your face on youtube out if you prefer to stay hidden.
Here are 2 of my channels:
1. 3-4000 subscribers (growth rate is 15% weekly) : ABC Ms. Roo (in Chinese) youtube.com/c/ABCMsRoo小如
– all content is generated by audience’s questions, talking about fitting in as Asians in LA/US, confidence issues, relationship issues (a lot ask about this <–), dating questions. Regular publishing schedule is Sunday 5pm PST/Mon 8AM CST
2. Cheese on Rice (in English) – I'm trying to jumpstart this channel. talking about Asian related everything. Trying to publish one per week
I noticed your strengths are writing and being open about hardness. That's something I'm working on. (I'm a math applied sci major.. i suck at writing lol)
Note: I can blur your face on youtube out if you prefer to stay private. If you're interested or know someone that would be a good fit, please email/reply me at EatDrinkManRuth @ gmail.com. I have a bunch of privacy filter on so might not see ur message here.
thank u for ur attention,
Roo
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Hi Ruth, can you provide me with an email address and we can discuss further? Thanks!
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I don’t think I’ll call you “Tur-duk-en”, you’re not a food How about Duk-Eun. Since you’re life is a k-drama. ㅋㅋㅋ
Duk-Eun,
I’m only on your first chapter, but I intend to read the rest. I’m almost a decade younger than you and found your blog by googling your blog’s name — although more in reference to my own current situation.
I’ll share more as I read more of what you’ve shared of yourself. I myself am a daughter who was raised by a father whose wife walked out on him. I can relate to your situation — my sister and I were definitely baggage when it came to him trying to start new relationships. I was very young and watching him try to get back into “the game” was disheartening, I could see him looking for my mom in other people — I don’t think he ever tried to find someone else, honestly. He definitely cared my sister and I, but not wanting to be alone he jumped into a poisonous relationship with my current step-mother. Just make sure to put yourself and your children before a new love interest and make sure their intentions are not selfish. It [adding children into the equation] is a much different situation than only having to protect your own heart and interests.
Until the next chapter, best of luck.
-“Hyun-Ae”
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Hi Hyun-Ae,
Thanks for reading and sharing your story. Appreciate you taking the time.
Sorry to hear you went/are going through a rough time as well. I’m happy to email you if you’d like someone to talk to about it.
Otherwise, hope my story helps you in some way.
Thanks!
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